Guilt, for beginners.

The article is a work of pure fiction. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely co-incidental.

*Bursts out into laughter*

My father is an Architect. However, his job description is quite unrelated to what I want to say. He is also what is called 'comfortable' in matrimonial advertisements. For those of you who do not know the workings of the matrimonial market, it means that he is capable of not only paying for his own wedding but also has enough standing to get his nieces and nephews internships and 'sifaarishes'.

I am a student. I eat a lot and at irregular timings. I travel a lot and am usually late. I buy many things and don't really take care of them. I have lost a cell phone, 2 Ipods, a hair trimmer, a walkman, a digital camera and a Rs. 16,000 pendant which I was told to wear for astrological reasons, in the 17 very short years of my existence. The fact that I can sit infront of a computer screen and indifferently (or maybe not) recount these things, and still go out to shop tommorow, is also a corollary to the fact that my father is 'comfortable'.

My pocket money is Rs. 3,500. Equating that with my monthly expenditure would be nothing short of the Enron scandal. My driver who has two daughters and a(?) wife earns Rs. 8,500 a month. Besides all of this he also picks up my father's bags, goes to get my xeroxes, carries my little cousins underwear enroute the swimming pool and calls me 'bhaiya'. Being a tad more courteous than the rest of this world, I call him uncle. So I am Rishi 'bhaiya' and he is Bhagwan 'Uncle'. That is what money does. I am my uncle's bhaiya. This dual relationship, of age vs. monetary standing I share with most of the population of my country. After all my father is one of the few who are comfortable.

I'll probably spend an hour discussing my blog with someone or the other on the phone. That would cost Rs. 60. Assuming that I spend no more than that in a day at an average on the phone, my monthly phone expense turns out to be Rs. 1800. That's Rs. 1,200 less than the average monthly income of an Indian. Had my father not been comfortable, my family would have to somehow manage to live within Rs. 1,200 or I would have to part with phone (Ha!?).

I always thought averages were desirable. That the world was at some sort of an equilibrium. That it was good to be like the rest. Maybe that's why I always ended up with average marks. However my teachers always maintained I was above average. They would not defile me with that heinious word that equates me with a populace that earns Rs.3,000 a month. I wasn't going to an average school, in some godforsaken part of the country. I was going to a private school. My father was no average rag-tag. He was a comfortable man.
*smile of contentment*